My Mom Blog

I always thought I knew what kind of mom I would be.

Before having a baby, I had PLENTY of ideas about motherhood. I knew what I would do, what I wouldn’t do, what kind of routines, how much sleep I would get (l o l ), and most importantly, I was absolutely sure I wouldn’t lose myself.

Then I had a baby.

And suddenly. there was this tiny person who needed me for everything.

The first few months were a blur. I know there were feedings, coffee, laundry, diapers, rocking, Googling things at 2 am, very little sleep.

Somewhere along the way, I realized that motherhood wasn’t going to be about becoming a completely different person.

It was going to be about figuring out who I am now.

A friend once told me that when you become a parent, you lose yourself a little bit, but eventually you find yourself again, just different. At the time, I remember thinking “Yeah, okay. That won’t happen to me, I’m still going to be me.”

Well, as we all know if you are reading this blog. I should have just listened to my friend. She was right, but not necessarily in the way I expected.

I still love the things I loved before motherhood. I still want to read books. I still want coffee that I don’t have to reheat three times I still want to get dressed in something other than leggings and a t-shirt that has toddler food-stained hands. I still want friendships, date nights, hobbies, adventures, and time to myself.

But most importantly, I also love the person that I have become because of my son.

Motherhood has made me softer in some ways and stronger in others. It’s made me care about the little things more and care about some of the big things a lot less.

It (and my therapist, Lisa) has also taught me that there is no such thing as doing everything perfectly.

Some days, I feel like I’ve got it together- cool, calm, collected, Other days, I’m drinking cold coffee standing in the kitchen wondering what I was just doing five minutes ago- like a Sims whose task just got cancelled.

Sometimes the house is clean. Sometimes there are toys everywhere and I just step over them or push them aside.

Sometimes I plan a beautiful, nutritious meal. Sometimes dinner is pasta with meat sauce for the 4th day this week so my toddler will eat something since he’s teething.

I’m learning to be okay with all of it.

That’s why we are here. That’s why I wanted to start this blog. I don’t want this to be a place where I pretend to have motherhood figured out, because I definitely do Not.

I want this to be a place where we can talk about the real stuff. The funny stuff. The hard stuff. The beautiful stuff. The “please, please tell me I’m not the only one” stuff.

The outfits, the books, the coffee, the motherhood chaos, the friendships, the family stuff, the things nobody tells you before you become a mom., the moments that make you stop and think “Wow, I really get to be this person’s mom.”

Because somewhere between who I was before motherhood and who I am now, I’ve realized something.

*I didn’t lose myself.* I am still here. I’m just becoming someone new.

So, welcome! I am so glad you’re here. Now..excuse me while I go reheat my coffee…again..